This day did not start well. First Damon gave me a nightmare, in which Elena died. It’s not so much that I care for Elena, it’s just that I have to be with someone that looks exactly like Nina Dobrev. So, Elena should have the decency to postpone her death, until I can date one of her future doppelganger descendants.
There was also this special thing, the annual Founder’s park dance, and Elena literally forced me to go there. What, is it so hard to understand that sometimes I want to lock myself up in my room, and cry while listening to One Direction? I mean, I’ve had a very traumatizing life, you know.
What about those people whose head I ripped off? Isn’t that a little more traumatizing for their families?
Oh my God!!! So not the point! We’re talking about me, here!
Now, I have to say, Elena looked dashing. Of course, I don’t expect anything less from my living, breathing trophy.
I danced with Caroline. She’s a good dancer, I have to admit it. I always say I don’t dance, but that’s really because I don’t want to make anyone else feel less confident about themselves. I know, I’m such a good person!
Good news, Elena finally realizes what an awful being Damon is. Bad news, when I told her I would take care of it, she was suddenly all over me with her questions, and how she doesn’t know anything about me.
And I’m like, geez, take a hint. Me no talky about me past.
Best news, I tricked Damon into drinking vervain. Now, he’s locked up in our cellar, and I’m going to keep him there until he’s basically dead.
Mwuahaha, I’m such a badass!